What do I mean by being authentic?
I write a lot about authenticity, living your truth. And I try and show up with an authentic version of my life. Not because I think the world is hanging on for my every thought, but because showing up honestly – flaws, fears, joys and celebrations (you know, warts and all) – might give someone else permission to do the same.
I know I’m far from perfect, far from together and far from confident. Yet I’m also aware that the world I “show up in” might see me as both together and confident (definitely not perfect!).
An incomplete picture
What we see of each other is always incomplete. Even those closest to us only ever hold fragments of our whole story. It took me until well into my forties to come to a realisation. And I realised this is true for everyone. None of us see the whole of any other person, especially those we see through the lens of social media, film and tv. We are all more than the version others see. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to partial narrative. Like photoshopped beauty, its unobtainable.
Sometimes our own self‑doubt gets in the way of recognising our own truth. Fortunately for some of us, we have a special connection with someone who knows us better than we know ourselves. They can talk us back into reality when our self doubt and imposter stifle us. The majority of people around us, in this world of 24/7 access, reels and highlights, only see the surface, and maybe some of our layers if we push to bee as authentic as we dare.
Authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real.
It’s about letting people see enough of us that they can understand us, connect with us, and support us — and letting ourselves be seen without the constant filter of self‑criticism.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s about remembering that everyone else is carrying their own unseen stories too.
So, whatever we think we know of someone else, remember, there is always more. Life isn’t black and white, it’s a full on technicoloured assault on the senses! It doesn’t mean what you see isn’t authentic. It doesn’t mean what you know isn’t true and real. It just means, be mindful, for your own sanity and expectations, that there is probably a lot more beneath the depths you can reach. So stop comparing yourself
All I try and do, when I show up in all my mess and self doubt and guilt (on occasion), is let people reach a little deeper… including myself!
