Celebrant Views, Mental Health & Wellbeing

Is Your Body “Wedding Ready”? Hell YES

Is your body wedding ready?  HELL YES.  and let me make this very clear, you do not need to go on a pre wedding diet.

You know what I really hate?

The phrase “is your body beach ready?”

Interchange beach with summer, or worse WEDDING

FFS.  Is it summer? Are you on a beach?  Is it your wedding?

Will you be there?

If the answer is yes, then you already are beach / summer / wedding ready.

It really is as simple as that.

This marketing speak notion that you have to be/look/dress a certain way at a certain time of year is a load of bloody nonsense.  Created over generations by capitalism.

If society can make as believe we are not good enough as we are then it has created a problem, to which it can supply a solution.  And charge for it.  ( check out my old blog post…I mean, RANT, about body image)

This art of making us feel inadequate as we are, makes me absolutely sick.  Particularly when a lot of the hype has come from other women.  It’s bad enough when men gaslight us and over focus on our appearance, but when we do it within our sisterhood, its despicable.  We should be supporting and celebrating each other, and ourselves.

So, is your body wedding ready?

I find it particularly sad when it comes to weddings.  You are marrying a partner who loves you.  Not you with the proviso that you wear makeup,  or would be more loveable if you were more toned or thinner, or had bigger boobs or booty. Or if your lips are plumper  or you had less wrinkles.  Your partner loves you and the body you come in, however it changes, has changed or will change with age and time.  And if they don’t, then you deserve better.

The sadder thing is (and yes, I’m as guilty of it too) is that it is generally ourselves who are dissatisfied with ourselves.  We don’t often look in the mirror when we wake up in the morning and think “wow, check me out”.  (and if you are someone who does, then high-five to you!)

I often look in the mirror first thing and slightly recoil!!!  How sad is that. Check out past posts on Body Dysmorphia, and look out for a new candid series, if I pluck up the confidence to share it)

Crystal Tipps and AlistairBut, like most people, I look older than I expect when I see myself in a mirror ,and wish I  looked younger; or thinner; or more toned.  I worry how my clothes look on my body.  That my hair is a frizz ball the resembles the cartoon Crystal Tips and Alistair.  I wish my skin was less scarred  and smoother.  That my boobs weren’t so affected by gravity and breast feeding (all those years ago);, that the back of my arms weren’t flabby.  I hate my double (triple) chins and my rounded shoulders and my squidgy tummy.  Not enough to do anything about it… I love cake, I love lounging about.    But its so sad that I don’t feel happy in most my clothes.   And that I don’t often like the look of the person I see in the mirror.

And I hate that, should I decide to get married I would feel a pressure to get ‘wedding ready’.

My partner loves me.  He loved me when we met in my 20’s and a size 12, he loved me when I was massive and swollen with pregnancy, he loves me irrespective of my scars, he loves me even when my grey roots show through, he loves my squidgy bits.

He would love me to love me more, the confidence is sexy.   If we could only see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us.

If we loved ourselves more then a lot of business would go bust.  Creams to make us look younger and “reduce the signs of aging “, although I call bullshit on most of that nonsense; cometic surgery (definitely calling that one out), Botox (ffs).

I’m all for us ladies (and gentlemen) taking back our own power.  Sure wear things and do things that make you feel good.  Do things that are good for your mental and physical health.  But make sure those thoughts and feelings you have about your appearance come from  within you and for the right reasons; and not from someone trying to sell you something.  This need we have to conform to societal pressures, wear the latest trends.  Do people really have seasonal wardrobes?!  And do they really have a new one every year?!  Who the hell can afford that?  Certainly the planet can’t afford us all behaving like that (another day another blog) .

I just wish, we could all just love ourselves as much as our partners (the good ones) love us.  And I wish we could all just be happy in our own skins.  And especially, at this moment, and as we head into “wedding season”, I wish our brides and grooms could see in themselves what their partners see in them.

You ARE wedding ready.

So, Is your body wedding ready?  Hell yes…  If someone loves you and has chosen to marry you, and you them; and the date is upon you; then ,damn it, you are wedding ready. And don’t let society tell you any different.

Wear what makes you happy , on the body you have and that you deserve to love and to hell with the marketeers and social media influencers telling you differently.  Remember, they’re all trying to sell you something.  If they loved you, like your partner loves you , and if you loved you like your partner loves you , how much more content would you be?

Have a great wedding.  And remember, YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME

If you have been affected in any way by this post and need support I can recommend The BDD Foundation2

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