It’s taken me a couple of days to work out how best to describe this year’s Association of Independent Celebrants conference. And I think I’ve got it down to three words: –
SUPPORTIVE
COMPASSIONATE
AFFIRMING
I wasn’t sure if I’d even be attending this year’s AOIC independent Celebrants Conference and Awards. With my Presidency and even membership, in doubt until about 1 hr before the AGM on Wednesday evening, I didn’t know what the association would prefer I do. But I was reassured that I am still a valued member and my achievements, input and proactivity as a celebrant, regional rep, previous committee member and VP, are valued. Despite the understood decision they came to of delaying the appointment of a new President, with the decision to be reviewed asap.
To be fair the situation they were presented with was, an unprecedented one, and the length of time the took in reaching a decision, did leave me feeling valued, although still conflicted. As you all know, I pride myself on warts and all openness and honesty. Anyone can find out my views on anything by simply going to my public Facebook profile. I deliberately share everything. I am my brand, my “ideal client” gets it, and my values and actions are integral to who I am.
Anyway, attend I did. And I’m so glad.
Celebrant’s Conference and Awards Dinner 2025
As always, the welcome by a collective of celebrants was a warm and welcoming one. Heartfelt, compassionate, and demonstrative. It’s like a long, sincere hug… more like a good old Welsh cwtch. In fact, there were loads and loads of actual hugs, deep and meaningful conversations, sincere and heartfelt words of support and a huge amount of mutual respect, shared enthusiasm, and deep understanding.
Highlights of the conference
The biggest highlights were the warmth and connecting with so many celebrants I hadn’t met before, but here are some of the tangible highlights:
- Five Leaves Bookshop – on Friday evening there was a manned stand hosted by Five Leaves Bookshop, a radical independent bookshop based in Nottingham. Radical is a word they us. They champion independent presses, personal change, political change, understanding history, understanding the world we live in… anarchist, socialist, green… best-selling sections include politics, speculative fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction and non-fiction, poetry, and general fiction. They brought a selection of their poetry for us to peruse and purchase.
- Dead Positive CIC is a new Community Interest Company run by celebrant Kristie Atherton. It’s tagline is “Doing Dying Differently” – Holding people’s hands whilst opening conversations about death, dying, bereavement & end of life rituals. Through events. education. training and merchandise. And their merch is magnificent. I could have bought everything and may well do over time. In the meantime I’m keen to link to it, support it and connect it to The Legacy Lounge project created by celebrant, Ems Melrose to which I am currently a founding partner.
- Matilda Handy – this young lady c11years old, stood up both at Gedling Crematorium and again in front of a room full of celebrants and read the book inspired by her letter to her late grandparents. Thanks to Matilda’s mum, Leanne, who works at Gedling, the first super crematorium, we now have white memorial post boxes at Crematoria across the country. Also thanks to Leanne, we have this incredibly confident, well-spoken young person who inspired us all with her reading of the book “This Letter Says I Love You”. As a collective of celebrants, I think their book stock sold out as we all clamoured to get them to give to young people at our funerals.
- Obitus – The team from Obitus and Westerleigh are just a delightful bunch of human beings. They are also magnificent AOIC partners and event sponsors. Sadly I missed the trip to Gedling that they’d arranged but the feedback was magnificent, and we definitely had fun at The Big Fat Obitus Quiz
- Tackling the Ashes Problem was a productive and interactive session run by FD – Simon Otter and Celebrant, Tina Naldrett, who together produce the Good Goodbyes Podcast. The session looked at the problem of unclaimed ashes and together we brainstormed to find solutions.
S.O.B.S (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) was the outgoing president’s chosen charity and has since been adopted as a charity the association will continue to support. It is a charity I support myself in a small way. Since releasing my book, My Life, My Death, My Wishes I have been collecting £1 for every copy I sell directly to donate to them. So it was wonderful to connect with their CEO, Josie Jakub and gift her a free copy
Openness and transparency.
The only cloud over the weekend was the conversation (or lack of) around my Presidency (or absence of). Like with the AGM, the hand over (or rather not) was going to be absent of my name or acknowledgement of a willingness to be open and transparent. So I did as I was advised by our CEO, Simon McGowen, and, rather than making a speech or issuing a statement, I wrote a statement, had it approved by the CEO and then proceeded to speak to most people individually and the rest going table to table at the evening dinner.
I so value the work of the AOIC, it’s striving to unite celebrants, partner kindred associations, champion and raise awareness of the industry, support and educate its members and, perhaps most importantly, lobby and advocate for change and inclusivity. I would champion the role of our not for profit trade association any day of the week and I hope that came across in everything I spoke, the statement I made and the engagement and support I offered.
I am delighted at the progress and plans the association is adopting. The new CRM system; the pending new website; the appointment of two new directors; its proactivity in Wedding Law Reform; its partnership strengthening with its kindred associations; its attempts to improve its communication, transparency, and inclusivity. I am a huge advocate for all those qualities. I strive to open conversation, provide better choice, develop resources, forge genuine and meaningful partnerships, and raise awareness of the value, and roles of independent celebrants.
I would love to see the AOIC become the go to place for couples and families to come to find the right celebrant for them whatever their situation, beliefs or needs. I want the AOIC to be the most trusted place for the public to know their member celebrants are qualified, trained and supported and that their needs are at the forefront of everything we do.
I want celebrants to feel heard and supported. with the backing of a knowledgeable, ethical, inclusive, and professional association. I believe that the AOIC is or can be all those things and that is the direction they are heading
So I have been honoured to be a member since I finished training in February 2019, I am proud to have taken on the Regional Representative role for members across Wales and have been a member of the committee working alongside the directors to help move the Association forward.
I’ve been happy to champion the association and its growth. And I have never been prouder than when i was approached to put my name in the pot for the presidency.
It has been a year of excited anticipation as the role drew near and I was so looking forward to representing the association at the 120th anniversary conference and dinner last month with the National Association of Funeral Directors.
But that wasn’t to be.
Nor will I be attending the British Institute of Funeral Directors event this month. Which is sad as I have been a regular contributor to their industry Journal.
Who knows after that. It depends on the ongoing investigation.
Francesca Albanese, Special Rapporteur to the UN said this, at the recent solidarity concert for Palestine at Wembley Stadium, “It is necessary for us to give up just an inch of our own privilege so that an entire people doesn’t have to lose everything” .
My inch of privilege has been given, and I have no regrets in giving it.
I wish though that I were able to take on the Presidential role. I know I would be a great President. And it’s not often I’m so confident and boastful. But I know my intention and passion in my representation of the Association. I know how beneficial someone like me would be in the role.
I’m an independent celebrant, like all the other 660 members of our Association. I’m passionate about my career, as we all are, and I’m a bloody good celebrant (as my reviews prove),. All our members have these qualities. But I believe my strength lies in my diversity, my non-conformity, my openness, and my willingness to challenge the status quo.
I work in an industry that is centuries old. Particularly on the side of funerals. And with its history, it has developed tradition, set ways, and conformity. I am neither traditional, set in my ways, or willing to conform. I believe the industry partnerships would benefit from how I look and how I approach my work with families. I believe I can guide the industry forward, challenge traditional thinking, offer more solutions and resources, and aid it to become more accessible and inclusive.
I believe in me, and I believe in choice, freedom, and fresh ideas.
And the families and couples I have supported believe in them too.
Award Winning
I’ve never before mentioned award ceremonies or reached out for nominations, but this year, for the first time, I mentioned them to my clients and asked if any of them might nominate me.
Now I don’t have the numbers of ceremonies under my belt that others do. I can’t choose to be a full-time celebrant, because there just isn’t enough demand for my alternative style in the demographically challenging and low population area I live in, rural mid Wales. Or if there is, I haven’t yet worked out how to reach those who would benefit from my services. But even as someone who perhaps might only deliver a dozen weddings/vow renewals/ celebrations of love and gratitude a year, and possibly two or three memorials/ funerals or commemorations per month I know that what I offer is exceptional. And thanks to the engagement in the nomination process and the words of some of those clients, I know that they see it too.
I could not be prouder.
I was announced as a finalist in two of the four categories. If I knew who nominated me I would personally visit each of them and hug them all.
At the awards ceremony I received the Runner Up Award for Best Couples and Family Celebrant.
Despite being a woman whose job is to find the words, I am struggling to express how affirming and reassuring this is.
Being a Celebrant is a privilege, a vocation and a joy. It is a dream come true to work in a career that is so rewarding, so supportive and one that empowers people to authentically share their truth, be it love, gratitude, or grief. I get to share in the most poignant moments in people’s lives. I get to hear their stories and tell their stories. I get to share in their joy, help them find comfort in their sadness and walk alongside them as they navigate the road ahead. Nothing could be more fulfilling.
What is left to say? I think I should mention the other winners and runners up and then mention a couple more people, who’s comments and connection during the weekend, helped feed my soul.
These are just some of the celebrants not already mentioned, whose presence brought extra joy and whose connection lifted my spirits.
Tracy Munday
Kay Croft
Shelly Wills
Lynn (Pinky) Parker
Wendy Morgan-Gray
Paula Evenden
John Else
Dinah Liversidge (goes without saying!)
Congratulations go to the two newly appointed Directors, Lisa Newman and Jo Stott
And new 1st and 2nd Vice Presidents, Rebecca Boothroyd and Debi Robinson
