Don’t be misled – the rise of the Direct Cremation
You are not a burden!
There is huge investment via certain funeral planners trying to make the elderly believe they should insure against being a burden, and the way to do this is to ‘invest’ in a direct cremation.
Nowhere in those adverts does it mention that by direct cremation what you are buying is an unattended cremation. Follow this link to my previous blog post
That means your body is removed from your home, usually by a van, often to a warehouse location not near you. Your body will be cremated, without anyone present, and the ashes will be returned to you.
The way they sell this service is to use the phrases ‘no fuss’ and ‘non-traditional’. Not only is it misleading, but it does also not enable those left behind to grieve.
Let me say it again. You are not a burden? If you chose a direct cremation, make sure you are aware of what it is, what will happen and how those left behind feel about it.
Often those grieving are shocked to is cover that a direct cremation has already been arranged and they cant view the deceased or even attend the crematorium.
If you are arranging a direct cremation look at the products available from your local independent funeral director, they may have something more personal and appropriate along those lines.
Also, ask your family how they will feel about not being able to attend the cremation. Maybe they won’t mind, but maybe they will want something.
Here are a few ideas :
A memorial service in your garden before the coffin is taken to the crematorium
A memorial service in a garden/pub/community hall without the coffin and whilst the cremation is taking place
A collective moment of silence or playing of a favourite song on an agreed time and date
A scattering or burial of ashes
A tree planting ceremony
A family party/wake/remembrance service
Asking those who knew them to send a memory (story, photo) and creating a memory box or scrap book
If you would like to discuss anything raised in this post or if there is anything else, you would like to discuss, please feel free to message or call. If I can’t help directly, I will attempt to signpost you to someone who can.
To find a reputable Independent Funeral Director, contact SAIF, The National Society for Independent Funeral Directors
To find a local celebrant, contact the AOIC, The Association of Independent Celebrants