When I decided to train as a celebrant it was to provide services rooted in care, compassion and choice. What do I mean by that?
As a member of a congregation I had attended a number of services, focused heavily on tradition and expectation. Now if that is what the deceased or their family really wanted then there is nothing wrong with that.
The question is, was it a choice, or did they not know their were other options?
When someone dies, we are often in a position where we are making decisions mid crisis. This means our decisions are reactive. We are not thinking clearly, time is critical and we can easily get swept along by the professionals who run the funeral industry machine.
What do I mean by that?
I’m not suggesting there is anything wrong with tradition, or in being led by an industry professional. What I’m saying is that by preplanning you may have discovered more choices that might better serve you. Maybe they are less costly, or more personality driven. Maybe they better serve you and your family or community in the first steps in processing your loss.
By pre-planning, you as an individual and those close to you, will not only ensure that all your wishes, fears and personality are considered and included, in your service; but also that those left behind have all their needs met. No-one will be met with any shocks or surprises. Like a hymn when you’re not religious; or a large bill for an extra car; or a crematorium that only gives you 20 minutes when another might offer 40. And everyone will leave feeling that their person has been seen and their connections have been acknowledged. And with that firm foundation on which to process your grief, the next step will be ever so slightly easier, and the next … and the next.
That’s why I wrote my book
My Life, My Death, My Wishes guides the reader through all the options, all the thought processes, all the conversations, and the pros and cons. (click on the title to find out more).
And that’s why I’m an Independent Funeral Celebrant.
I want to give families time and choice. They should know that their persons life has rippled into mine. And I want them to feel seen and heard, in their grief, and love. Families deserve the chance to tell their stories, share their connections and express them in a ceremony that represents the personalities of both the deceased and the grieving.
I want families to feel cared for and understood, beyond delivering their service. Personally, I want to leave, carrying a little bit of their person, and them into my future, in my head and heart. I want them to know the true impact of their person and see that I have recognised it too.
Taking time, advocating, explaining, finding solutions, suggesting content that connects and delivering services rooted in care, compassion and choice.
